Confidence: between Shrinking & Showing Off

Have you ever noticed how confidence can look totally different from one person to the next?
For some, it’s quiet self-assurance.
For others, it’s the ability to take up space unapologetically.

But like clarity and consistency, confidence has two thieves:

• The far enemy is insecurity—the voice that whispers, You’re not ready yet.

• The near enemy is arrogance—the voice that insists, You’ve got nothing left to learn.

Both rob us of authentic strength.

The Far Enemy: Insecurity

Insecurity hides behind hesitation, people-pleasing, or endless preparation. It keeps us small—always waiting for permission, always measuring ourselves against others.

The lie insecurity tells is, “If I just knew more, looked better, or had their approval, then I could move forward.”

But confidence doesn’t come after worthiness—it comes from it.

You don’t earn confidence; you practice it in small, everyday choices that remind you who you already are.

The Near Enemy: Arrogance

Arrogance often shows up when we’re afraid of being found out. It’s insecurity dressed up as control.
We’ve all seen it—sometimes even in ourselves—the moment we posture instead of connect.

Arrogance builds walls where confidence builds bridges.
It says, “I already know,” instead of, “I’m still learning.”

In Positive Intelligence, this is often the Hyper-Achiever saboteur—seeking validation through accomplishment instead of alignment.

True confidence is humble, steady, and curious. It’s being rooted enough to listen, learn, and still lead.

The Practice: Grounded Courage

This week, ask yourself:
👉 Am I shrinking back in insecurity—or hiding behind overconfidence?

Then try this simple shift: replace “I have to prove” with “I get to practice.”

Because confidence isn’t a performance. It’s a posture.

💡 Want to discover which “C” you most need right now? Take the Momentum Quiz