Power of Pause
If you’ve ever felt ambushed by a tough conversation at work…
Or emotionally hijacked by an unexpected comment…
Or triggered in a conflict with someone you love…
You already know this:
High-pressure moments don’t just test your leadership. They expose your habits.
And one of the most underused, under-taught, and wildly powerful habits you can develop is this:
🧠 Ask for the pause.
A Story from Coaching
Recently, I was talking with a client just after she had a hard interaction with her manager.
He walked into her office unannounced, closed the door (cue instant stress response), and said:
“I received an email in the suggestion box—but it wasn’t a suggestion. It was a direct criticism… and it named you.”
No heads-up. No context. Just straight into the deep end.
By the time we talked, she was spiraling—trying to defend herself, make sense of it, and calm her nervous system all at once.
Here’s What I Shared with Her:
“That was a perfect opportunity to ask for the pause.”
Something like:
‘Wow, that’s a lot to process. I do want to talk through it—would it be okay if I step away, take lunch, and circle back after I’ve had space to think clearly?’
Because let’s be honest—her manager had time to read the email, interpret it, and prepare what he wanted to say.
She didn’t. And that’s not a fair mental playing field.
🛑 Why the Pause Works
When you pause intentionally, you:
Protect your nervous system from going full fight/flight
Communicate that the topic does matter to you
Give yourself time to respond instead of react
This isn’t avoidance. It’s mature, grounded leadership.
💬 How to Ask for a Pause (Without Giving the Cold Shoulder)
There are 3 parts to asking for a pause with wisdom:
✅ Affirm the importance of the convo
“This matters to me…”
🧘♀️ Ask for the pause
“I need a little space to process before I respond…”
🕐 Commit to a time to return
“Can we reconnect this afternoon around 3?”
That could be with your boss.
Or your spouse.
Or even yourself.
Because the goal isn’t to delay conflict.
It’s to show up with clarity, composure, and compassion.
You Don’t Have to React in Real Time
Your power is not in having the perfect words.
It’s in being present enough to pause, reset, and return with intention. Remember, it typically takes about 20 minutes for your brain and nervous system to recover from an amygdala hijacking.
If you’ve been operating under the pressure to always have your response ready—this is your permission slip to pause first.
Want more tools like this?
This is exactly the kind of inner mastery we build in my Positive Intelligence (PQ) coaching group—and our next cohort starts at the end of July.
✨ Learn more or grab a spot here → Mental Fitness Course
And don’t forget—if you’re ready to walk in courage and community, you’re invited to join me at COURAGEOUS on August 7.
This evening is packed with real stories, tools for bold living, and hope for women healing from trafficking.
🎟️ Reserve your seat here → Click for Tickets
